the Year in Review: 2020

 As always... the Year in Review: 2020

What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before?

Experienced a pandemic. Quarantined in my home. Wore a face mask in public. Wore a face mask at work. Watched Downton Abbey. Kept a bottle of hand sanitizer in the cup holder of my car. Dyed my eyebrows. I was a full-time, stay at home mom for seven months. Worked out along with an app. Attended meetings through zoom. Led meetings through zoom. Moved existing Art course content online and created new content to teach virtually. Taught drawing, painting, sculpture, and ceramics virtually. Attended at Black Lives Matter rally. Made dozens of youtube videos. Visited the Great Wolf Lodge (pre-pandemic.) Went on a waterslide with Noah. Experienced/identified depression in myself. Used a squat rack. Recovered from a C-section. Worked in a brand new Art department and set up new classrooms. Watched multiple school board meetings online. Wrote a letter to the school board. Dropped Noah off for his first day of school. Visited a physical therapist. Survived a year as a mom of two, with the best husband ever.

Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't really set an intention for 2020 (I didn't even do this survey!) since I had a less-than-two-week-old when the year started and everything felt too chaotic and overwhelming. This is probably for the best because, undoubtedly, any goals or intentions I would have set for this year probably would have been thwarted by the pandemic. 

But I did set two mantras for myself going into this school year in September: Keep it simple and Do less. I am continuing to hold those mantras for myself as we enter the second half of the school year and our school board/administration has decided that it's time to give all students the choice to return to the building physically, which means I'll now be teaching students virtually AND in-person. Keep it simple, Kayleen. Do less.

My other goals for 2021 involve more self-care, physically and mentally, and really identifying what self-care actually is for me. I think too many times I have felt like watching Netflix and eating ice cream is taking care of myself. And while it's definitely necessary and comforting, I wouldn't say it's always a good choice.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

I can't think of anyone close to me, but I have friends that are pregnant!

Did anyone close to you die?

Not anyone that I can think of, thankfully. There are many, many others this year that cannot say the same this year and it's important to recognize how fortunate I am for the good health of my friends and family. I can only hope it continues in 2021.

What countries did you visit?

None. Not that I could have, even if we wanted to!

What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?

Better mental health. A covid vaccine shot.

What date(s) from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Friday, March 13th. The day that Noah's daycare was closed so I took him and Evan to a trampoline park for fun, and then everything shut down that weekend and we didn't leave the house again for weeks.

What was your biggest achievement of the year? 

 Surviving the first year with a baby is always an achievement! I'm really proud of some of the work I've been able to do with my students through virtual learning as well. And I'm proud of the transition that Jordan and I have made together into parenting two kiddos.

What was your biggest failure?

I definitely lost my shit a few times... but I don't know if that's a failure exactly. I will keep trying to do better.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Thankfully, no. But recovering from the C-section was probably one of the hardest things I've done physically in awhile and I am still feeling the effects, even a year later.

What was the best thing you bought?

Bluetooth headphones - so many hours of listening to podcasts while out on walks during the day and nursing a baby at night. And I really like this silicone shower loofah I got, and an iridescent, geometric purse that looks fluorescent when you photograph it with a flash. I guess I bought weird stuff this year. Oh, and we got a new car for Jordan.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

Eighty-one million voters in November. And the poll workers. And healthcare and essential workers. And anyone that supported them by making safe and responsible personal choices. And my students, for their humor and resilience during the hardest year of my career. And my family, for being the best thing in my life.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The people who refused to wear masks, refused to socially distance themselves, refused to stay home. The denial of science, the disrespect to our healthcare workers, the selfishness and willful ignorance in the name of "rights" continues to appall me. Some of the parents and staff in my school district. Oh, and the Trump voters. I will never understand how anyone can think that man is any sort of leader or worthy of respect.

Where did most of your money go?

Childcare and a mortgage. And sparkling water.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Honestly, it was a hard year and there wasn't a lot of excitement. Before the pandemic, I was really excited to take Evan to different places like having baby playdates, splashpads, visiting family in MN. It was so disappointing to miss all that... it still stings.

What song will always remind you of 2020?

I often play music through Spotify during work time in my classes (on zoom) and one song comes up pretty often that has grown on me: OK Not To Be OK by Marshmello and Demi Lovato. Here is a link to it on Youtube: OK Not to Be OK

Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder?

I think it depends on the day, but overall, probably sadder.

ii. thinner or fatter?

I think I'm the same weight actually, though my body shape feels different.

iii. richer or poorer?

Well, we have two car payments and two kids in childcare now, so I'll say poorer.

What do you wish you'd done more of?

Living in the moment. Feeling gratitude.

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worrying about things I can't control.

Did you fall in love in 2020?

I fall more in love with my three guys everyday.

What was your favorite TV program?

I loved the latest season of the Great British Baking Show, it is just the most gentle and wholesome show. And I really liked the Queen's Gambit. There are probably some others I'm forgetting. I tend to binge shows and then forget that I watched them.

What was the best book you read?

My two favorite books of the year are both by Blake Crouch: Dark Matter and Recursion. If you enjoy science fiction and time travel/alternate universes sort of fiction, these are fast and fun reads.

What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?

I didn't listen to much music this year, I listened to a lot more podcasts. My favorites are Reply All, This American Life, Heavyweight, Where Do We Begin?, and Office Ladies. Oh, I guess I listened to a LOT of Christmas music this December... 

What did you want and get?

A happy and healthy family, surviving the first year of Evan's life, a lot of coffee.

What did you want and not get?
I really want to get an espresso machine... still working on convincing Jordan about that one...

What was your favorite film of this year?

I don't watch a lot of movies, but I watched My Octopus Teacher after a friend recommended it and thought it was going to be boring, but it was so captivating.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 38. I had a nice day at school with my colleagues, my students sang Happy Birthday to me on zoom, Jordan and I got Indian food, and Evan slept though the night. That's about as good as it gets in my world right now.

What one thing would have made the year immeasurably more satisfying?

A competent president. And if more people took the pandemic more seriously, then maybe 300,000 people wouldn't have died. 

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?
Lot of pajamas during the day, and at night, and during the week, and on weekends. Oh, and a lot of dry shampoo. My hair is officially the longest it's been since high school. And I have a collection of face masks now- I tend to go with plain, earth-toned ones.

What political issue stirred you the most?
Black Lives Matter. And if you cannot bring yourself to say those simple, true words out loud, well, you need to do some serious introspection.

Who did you miss?
Everyone. It devastates me that Evan has met so few people in his first year.

Who was the best new person you met?
I have a few new colleagues at school that seem like awesome people. And I've gotten to know more of my neighbors and they've been lovely too.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020:

I guess it's a lesson I will continue to learn but this year has really highlighted how much I need to focus my energy and attention on the things in my life that I can control and influence, and that time is wasted worrying about the things I cannot control. Being able to identify what I can actually control, what I can only influence, and what I can only be concerned about (but can't actually control or influence) is important for my mental health and probably something I will always work on.

I have a lot of hope for 2021.